What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Each time Deadspin posts a new article, it appears on their Facebook page. And for each article, Facebook users - apparently unaware that we can see their real names! - decide to pull down their pants and shit out the world's worst comments.

I'm serious: the Facebook version of Deadspin comments makes regular Deadspin comments look like Plato's fucking Academy.

A third of it is generally memes about how they didn't read the article because they don't care, a third of it is people just tagging their idiot friends' names in the comments (why would you do this? Just post the link to your buddy's wall instead) and a third of it is people saying that Deadspin sucks, the Deadspin writers suck and should stick to sports, that this article could have been written by their [child/niece/nephew/dog], and that they're now unfollowing Deadspin's Facebook page. In almost all of those cases, I have no idea how these people decided to follow Deadspin in the first place.

For that last group - the ass-clenching, spittle-flying outrage - the worst (best?) type of comments are on Drew Magary's "Why Your Team Sucks" NFL preview articles.

Somehow, hundreds of bumbling, backwater dipshits, wandering through their Facebook feeds full of e-mail forwards about Obama's Muslim roots and pictures of pickup trucks, bump into a Deadspin "Why Your Team Sucks" article about their favorite team. And they're PISSED. "How my team sucks? Fuck YOU. You don't even follow football. Your article's inaccurate. The author is an idiot and is clearly a fan of [insert rival team.]"

Here, we present that last part, in a game we'll call "What team is Drew Magary a fan of?"


Why Your Team Sucks: The Chiefs

Drew Magary is an Oakland Raiders fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Panthers

Drew Magary is a New Orleans Saints fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Broncos

Drew Magary is a New England Patriots fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Colts

Drew Magary is a Cincinnati Bengals fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Texans

Drew Magary is a Cleveland Browns fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Falcons

Drew Magary is an Atlanta Falcons fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Cardinals

Drew Magary is a Dallas Cowboys/Oakland Raiders fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Steelers

Drew Magary is a Seattle Seahawks fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Ravens

Drew Magary is a Dallas Cowboys fan.

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?

Why Your Team Sucks: The Packers

Drew Magary is a Minnesota Vikings fan. (By God, this one might be onto something.)

What team does Drew Magary cheer for?